Venice vs Paris: Death Match
May 24th 2006 21:56
But instead of a decomposing swamp, Venice is lovely. Thank you masterful squeraroli. If Paris didn’t have such damn good PR, Venice would be the City of Love. Let’s face it, everyone likes Italians way more than the French. Pfff. The French. with their damn pain au chocolat moustaches and their dirty little trills.
- I spit on you, American scum!
- I’m not-
- You like George Bush, eh? C’est merde!
- But I’m Aust-
- I poke out your eyeball and voila: délicatesse de l’Americain! Encule!
Whereas in Italy, it’s all like apples man. I had some pizza in the piazza, near the Basilica di San Marco which really quite idillico. Everything rhymes in Italy, it’s as if we were all meant to speak Italian singsong all along. Only some of us fell from the Tower of Babel a little sooner than the rest and hit a few ugly sticks on the way down. I mean it’s no coincidence we use the Italian words for Italian things. If we called it something Angles like ‘rond damper with yon meat and two veg’, we’d have no Gourmet Pizza Kitchen or Woodfire Pizza. They’d still be printing the menus.
Anyway, I speak of pizza, because I had a Venetian pizza and it was delicious and despite what my friend Fil says about the Americans inventing pizza, I think it’s crap and besides, he spells his name with an ‘F’. Try the pizza in Venice, it’s great.
You might wonder why I write more assiduously about Venice than Milan. Why should Venice get all the glory, and Milan be so belittled by whimsy?
Well it is said that Thomas Mann was inspired to write Death in Venice after seeing the composer Gustav Mahler break down in tears on the train departing Venice. No one every broke down when they left Milan. The great Carnival in Rio? Borne after returning from Milan. The Festival of Life in Chicago 68? After Milan. OktoberFest in Munich? You see my point.
- I spit on you, American scum!
- I’m not-
- You like George Bush, eh? C’est merde!
- But I’m Aust-
- I poke out your eyeball and voila: délicatesse de l’Americain! Encule!
Whereas in Italy, it’s all like apples man. I had some pizza in the piazza, near the Basilica di San Marco which really quite idillico. Everything rhymes in Italy, it’s as if we were all meant to speak Italian singsong all along. Only some of us fell from the Tower of Babel a little sooner than the rest and hit a few ugly sticks on the way down. I mean it’s no coincidence we use the Italian words for Italian things. If we called it something Angles like ‘rond damper with yon meat and two veg’, we’d have no Gourmet Pizza Kitchen or Woodfire Pizza. They’d still be printing the menus.
Anyway, I speak of pizza, because I had a Venetian pizza and it was delicious and despite what my friend Fil says about the Americans inventing pizza, I think it’s crap and besides, he spells his name with an ‘F’. Try the pizza in Venice, it’s great.
You might wonder why I write more assiduously about Venice than Milan. Why should Venice get all the glory, and Milan be so belittled by whimsy?
Well it is said that Thomas Mann was inspired to write Death in Venice after seeing the composer Gustav Mahler break down in tears on the train departing Venice. No one every broke down when they left Milan. The great Carnival in Rio? Borne after returning from Milan. The Festival of Life in Chicago 68? After Milan. OktoberFest in Munich? You see my point.
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Comment by Rani